"This is the greatest day in the history of college football"
"I think I might be allergic to the stadium."
"When Liquid Paper just won't do..."
"There's no toilet paper and they're already full."
"Who needs football when we've got Guitar Hero?"
"There's always Women's Volleyball."
"Karma is an scurrilous lady, Mr. Bean."
"The world's best, number one, non-award winning tailgate - ever."
"I don't think I would stab you with this knife; it would have to be more of a julienne."
"the people are especially delicious..."
"Shoe? I don't need no stinkin' shoe."
"Run you fat man. Run. - okay, you're not really fat - keep running!"
"Did Ohio even dress a punter?"
"Actually, that's Blair Thomas."
"I can't believe I'm rooting for Illinois."
"In the grand scheme of things, losing a football game is unfortunate, but maybe not that catastrophic."
"He broke his hand? Did they put in the backup? He scored how many touchdowns?"
Championship Week -
"Holy crap, again." (said here, here and, because, yes, I'm one of the people who went to sleep, here).